THE ABUSE ENDS NOW!

A site dedicated to the idea that victims of sexual abuse need no longer to live with the guilt and the shame. Editorials,narratives,and links to resources,support for those with addictions,plus Religious&Spiritual guidance.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Correlation Between Sexual Abuse and Addictions

WELCOME! YOU ARE SAFE HERE! This is a Web-page with a Purpose!

If you are an Adult Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse,or a Parent of an abused Child,or one with addictions issues or just a curious student of life,then this is for you.

Hello,my name is Doug,and I am an Alcoholic and Drug Addict.I am also an Adult Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse.
This is a place where not only you can get information,but where you can get help,support,understanding and even Prayer.I "died"of a Drug Overdose,and God came into my life and as set a task for me.This is one part of that task.
I will post your story,getting it out is a wonderful step in the healing process.
I waited thirty-seven years to tell my story,I kept it a dark secret,no one knew.I am only now in the process of hopefully having my transgressor,the Pedophile who raped and abused me for two years brought to justice.
I will of course keep you posted,but right now you need to look to the links section on the right side,you will find important resources as well as testimony.
CORRELATION BETWEEN SEXUAL ABUSE and ADDICTION

I have always been under the impression that my addictions was just a result of my own stupidity.I still maintain that we are ultimately responsible for our own actions,however I have discovered so much research lately pointing to a connection between the fact I was sexually abused as a young teenager and the fact that I became an addict at the same time.It would seem that victims off sexual child abuse are much more likely*to develop "coping mechanisms"to survive the memories of the abuse.

The list of disorders reads like a who's who of compulsive behavior,there is of course the normal alcoholism and drug addictions,of which I am a poster boy for,but also eating disorders such as Compulsive Eating Disorder,anorexisa,Bulimia,Bulimia Nervosa Eating Disorder(heh,I didn't make the names,I am just reporting them!),Binge Eating Disorder(guilty)gambling and even suicides.There is one they do not mention,as many do not class it as an disorder,but I am willing to bet next months ad revenues(hopefully someone needs the info provided by the ads)that the vast majority of sexually abused children grow up to be tobacco abusers,good old cigarettes,mmm,mmm,mm,gooooodd! got a light?

Childhood sexual abuse need not control your future,there is help and support.Tell others,do not let it swell and fester inside you.Alcoholism and Drug Addiction,or gambling addiction,eating disorders are all treatable diseases.I use the term disease only because that is the current train of thought amongst most,but not all,treatment philosophy's.I feel that if it is a disease,then sexual or other abuse may lower our bodies natural immune system,and that is why you will find such a high percentage of addicts were also abuse victims when they where in their childhoods.Like most theories there are alternative points of view,and I have actually read that there is no statistical evidence to back up the claim that childhood abuse lead to addiction.This to me flies in the face of my own personal experience.There have been many times that I was in a "shooting circle"(a group all injecting drugs)and tales of abuse would abound.

Funny thing about those times,I never once confessed to my past,not even when others were openly talking about it.I was a superior junkie,I didn't use drugs to cover up feelings,I used drugs for pain,and for fun.Yeah,right!




I am looking for input to this site.I am presently waiting on some submissions to arrive but wanted to start things off.If you have a site that you feel should be listed or linked please let me know.
Please either leave a comment or email hdforbes@yahoo.ca

Your site must be of relative interest,either to victims of sexual or other abuse or addictions.I will include all types,drug addictions,alcohol and food addiction,gambling addiction,whatever you have.
Christian content is preferred but not a necessity.








7 Comments:

Anonymous Winter said...

Some call it serendipity. Some call it synchronicity. Some call it coincidence. I call it my guardian angel that bought me to the site of H. Douglas Forbes. My oldest son, age 24, has added joy, pain and a great many tears to our lives over the years. He could be a wonderful person, but he would go on bouts of violent and destructive behavior that seemed to come out of nowhere. As parents, we tried parenting classes, tough love (we had him arrested 3 times) and counseling. The psychologist told us he couldn’t help because my son refused to admit there was anything wrong. His violence was always followed by remorse. He would call himself useless and a loser. He would promise to change but the cycle would soon repeat itself. He would keep getting fired from jobs because he would fly off the handle at somebody and no one was prepared to put up with this kind of behavior.

Then I ran across Mr. Forbes’ site. I clicked a link to a rehab center because binge drinking was another of my son’s problems and in the index of that page a word caught my eye. The word was bi-polar. As I read that page it occurred to me that they may as well have my son’s name engraved into the site. We now have a word for my son’s problems. I showed the site to him and he has made a doctor’s appointment. For the first time in many years I feel hopeful. There is an honest chance for my son to have a normal life and I feel a tremendous amount of gratitude to Mr. Forbes. If he had not gone through the experiences that he writes about, and if he had not the courage to tell others about them, I would not have found an answer to our prayers.

11:22 PM  
Blogger SOH said...

Thanks for dropping by my site. Your pocket watch story is fascinating. I have rarely had a post that seemed to touch so many people.

I think you will find blogging fascinating and therapeutic. Best of luck with the blog and many positive thoughts for your continued sobriety. Life's a bitch and you've got to take your happiness where you can find it!

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Meg said...

Very good points made here... we are all responsible for our own actions... I like your style, your thoughts, and agree with most of what you convey. Keep it up mr remarkable xXx

5:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As i read your blog I was reading it because I'm involved with someone, who was abused as a child and has his share of addictions, and your blog made me curious to see the correlation between the two(addiction and sexual abuse) as i read the informaion i actually realized it relates to me to, I am a survivor of childhood abuse, I did not become and alcoholic or drig addict, but I can relate to the weigt issues. I realized years ago that I had purposely over the years as a teen gained weight as not to attract attention, I did not like males looking at me, whistling at me or anything due to being molested as a child I felt any kind of male attention was hrrible and did not like it at all. So i hid behind myself, as i got older I thought I was always wrong for having feeling for someone in a sexual way because of what has happen in the past. Its hard to let anyone get close to you, really close when your a child of abuse. You either think its wrong, or you dont deserve it. At least thats how I have felt for years. The relationships I have gotten into, in the past have been hard for me and my partners sexually and in everyway. This may sound weird to some but others I'm sure will understand completely. When you are abused as a child you feel, that intimacy is bad, wrong, that you shouldn't feel the way do, because it feels wrong, or you think your a bad person. I Believe that me not being able to be myself, and not able to truly let anyone get close to me has made relationships fail, my self asteem low, and this is all because of what has happen to me as a child. I was abused from age 6 to 12, I am now 37, and am currently in therapy. I Believe god puts people in our paths for reason and I truly think he out my current boyfriend in my path for a reason. since we'vew been together on and off for the last two years due to his addiction and me putting up my walls, I have fianlly gone to therapy for my abuse which I had thought i had dealt with years ago. Me and my boyfriend have alot in common, with being abused, and if its gods plan will make it work for us. If not I beleive he put us together for a purpose and maybe thats just to learn to be able to put our past to rest and deal with our addictions, whether it be drugs, alcohol or eating disorders or mental disorders of depression which I've had my bouts in. I'm glad you've finally come to a point in your life where you can heal and move on. Best of luck, and God bless.

11:10 PM  
Anonymous casarecovery said...

I would like to link up to your site my Friend, we offer (Christ Centered) help in most all of the areas you attend to.
Bless you for your work and service in these areas!
In HIS Love,
Rev. Rick Thompson
Founder/Director
http://prisonministry.net/casa

11:49 AM  
Blogger Milton A Covering said...

Poll Answer. Yes I am and Yes I was. I have given up on the drugs and the alcohol and the street life. Street life for those who think they know and those who dont know does not mean selling my body. I never sold sexual services, I did however survive a very long time on the streets.

I think what you are doing here Doug is a very honourable thing. It takes alot of strength and courage to stand up and say hey world I am this person for this reason. Congratulations my friend and may you find the peace you seek.

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very nice site.I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who later became addicted to drugs,married an abusive husband(later divorced) and am now being mentally and physically abused by my 14 yr. old bi-polar son. Just been looking around for ideas on ways to heal and get through the pain. Thanks,

7:26 PM  

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