THE ABUSE ENDS NOW!

A site dedicated to the idea that victims of sexual abuse need no longer to live with the guilt and the shame. Editorials,narratives,and links to resources,support for those with addictions,plus Religious&Spiritual guidance.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Warning signs of Sexual Abuse All Parents Need to Know

There was a time when I wished with all my being that I would have had parents that I felt comfortable talking to.If I had,the abuse I underwent may have ended after days not years.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing,it is also a horrible thing! I know that my behaviour changed tramatically after the abuse started.Why did my parents not see that there was something wrong?I was acting very withdrawn,I remember that and was moody to the point of being rude.If they would have just asked me why instead of shouting at me to "watch my smart mouth"...
I in no way blame my parents.I may have been adopted as nothing more then a farmhand,but I was their farmhand and they would have done anything to protect me,of that I am sure.
Those were different times as well,there is much more public discussion and knowledge being shared then ever before.
The one good result of such scandals as those surrounding the Priesthood,Boyscouts and Coaching Organizations from several sports and other high profile cases of sexual abuse,is the lessening of the stigma asscioated with being an abuse victim.We can hold our heads up proudly an proclaim I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED!and not have the world look at us suspiciosly,at least not to the extent there was at the time of my abuse.
There are important signs that a parent should always be on the watch for.They can be confusing to follow at times,what is a warning sign,and what is (in older children) normal teenage angst?There is no telling your teenager that it's normal!
Thew absolute best thing you can do to protect your children is to be available.No,you do not have to be their "best friend",that form of parenting is a tricky thing to manage,and most who try fail miserably,but that does notr stop you by saying the three words that will make the most difference in your childs life.Three little words,that if I had heard,trhings may have been very much different.The three words are of course "I love You!"
I was eight years old before I ever heard those words spoken,other then on TV,where Father Knows Best and My Three Sons where the idealist world I longed for.When I did hear those words,they where not directed at me,but at other children by their parents.(personal note,last week my Father who is 85,now widowed and in a home,but as sharp as he was 60 years ago,told me he loved me.That was the very first time,and it made up for 49 years.In one second all the hard feelings,all the disappointments and resentments where gone.I love my Father,for the very first time,I really feel it.What a wonderful thing it is.Thank you GOD!)
Lets get to what you came for,I'll tell stories like that at And from the Ashes

WARNING SIGNS THAT A CHILD MAYBE ABUSED

PHYSICAL SIGNS:

Underwear that is torn, stained, or bloody
Difficulty walking or sitting
Redness, pain, bleeding, or bruising in the external genital area, vagina, or anal area
Unusual discharge from the vagina or anus
Frequent, unexplained urinary infections or sore throats
Sexually transmitted infections
Pregnancy

EMOTIONAL SIGNS:

Clinical depression and feelings of suicide
Lack of trust
Change in response to adults or older children (although males account for over 90% of abuses, don’t rule out the possibility of female abusers)
New fears or hysteria
Low self-esteem
Depression with physical complaints such as:
Headache, stomachache, or chest pain
Insomnia
Fatigue
Loss of appetite
Behavioral Signs
Clinging
Sleep problems
Bed-wetting, thumb sucking, or loss of bowel control
Fear of undressing, or wearing extra layers of clothing
Fear of going to the bathroom, refusal to have a bowel movement, or constipation
Difficulty making friends
Getting to school early and staying late, to avoid being at home
Marked fear of a person (including parents) or certain places
Promiscuity, seductive behavior, or age inappropriate interest in sexual matters
Persistent, inappropriate sex play with peers or toys, or excessive masturbation
Truancy or dropping school performance
Running away from home
Abusing alcohol or drugs


withdrawal from family and friends
-sleeplessness
-irrational fears
-depression
-anxiety
-change in weight
-nightmares
-anger
-low self-esteem
-privacy issues

Of course just because your child may protray one or more of these symptons does not mean that he or she is being abused,but they are warning bells you should be on the alert and make a special effort to be approachable.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for this page,it was very useful.We suspected my older brither was harming our son,now the son of a bithch is in jail and our boy is getting help.God Bless you Sir!

8:32 PM  
Anonymous teresa said...

Thank you for this. My chirldren were sexual abused by their dad. I can't keep him legaly from seeing them but I have stopped him from seeign them. My chidlren showed to much interest in sex and when they started haveing nightmares I had ot do something. My oldest boy doesn't remember anything but he has the signs and I know my ex husbands family hisotry. There are several members of his family that have gone to jail for sexual crimes.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Veronica said...

My thanks to you sir,I refered friends here and they told me they got great info from a Google ad about warning signs,but I can not find the ad.Will it be back do you know?

8:13 PM  
Blogger Victim no Longer! said...

Veronica-I have no control over wich ads appear-other then using the topic as a general reference.All I can suggest is repeated visits,that and try refreshing the page as that will cause the ads available for this site to rotate

8:46 PM  

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